Bereavement Potential Support Parents

In their book "A Broken Heart Still Beats: After Your Child Dies," bereaved parents Anne McCracken and Mary Semel said that inspiration by example often leads the way to healing. For a newly grieved parent, recognizing that others have felt the pain of losing a baby, struggled with the same questions, and reluctantly given up the lives they too had counted on yet had the courage to move on in this world can be the beginning of the healing process.

Heartstrings Connections connects newly grieved families with other bereaved parents who have had a similar loss at least one year ago for one-to-one support and encouragement. If you have experienced the death of a baby and have a heart for other bereaved parents who are struggling, you can be the inspiration by example McCracken and Semel are talking about. Your very presence as a support person can offer reassurance, validation and hope to others who have endured a similar loss. Support parents are carefully chosen. We seek bereaved parents, both men and women, who have experienced a loss of one or all multiples more than one year ago and who have the following characteristics.

Characteristics of Support Parents
(Adapted from Family Support Network of North Carolina)

• You have begun to move forward in life without the physical presence of your baby(ies).
• The sharp, ever-present pain of grief has given way to a renewed sense of meaning and purpose.
• You have hope for continued life. You can make commitments to the future realizing that your baby(ies) will never be forgotten yet knowing that your life can and will move forward.
• You are willing to share your experiences.
• You are concerned about other bereaved parents.
• You are nonjudgmental.
• You view your role as a prospective support parent as a supporting role rather than a decision-making one.
• The relationships within your family are relatively stable.
• Your family is coping well with emotional issues.
• You are able to identify the needs and feelings of others.
• You are able to convey a sense of calm reassurance.
• You are able to become personally involved with others without being hurt or overwhelmed by their problems.
• You know what it means to be a good listener, and you practice good listening skills.
• You are able to communicate with people who are different from you.
• You are able to accept rejection without being personally offended.
• You work without a lot of praise or recognition.
• You are willing to give to others without the expectation of something in return.
• You handle confidential information without the need to discuss it.
• You have the time to call your referred parent, to write him or her notes, send emails or meet face-to-face.

Please complete the Connections Support Parent Application if you are interested in becoming a support parent and mail it to the address indicated on the application. You can also call 1.336.335.9931 or send an email to grier@heartstringsgso.org if you have questions about the program. There is a required training program for support parents. The Connections coordinator will contact you with information about the training once your application is received.